how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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