So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
