I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
