Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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