another moral hangover. fuck.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
