Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
