she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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