So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
