omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize