I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
