i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
