My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
third nipple confirmed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
