Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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