Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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