3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
