What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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