so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
MIDGETS
????
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
