And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize