oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
