Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she told me i tasted like america
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So much rum. So many feels.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
