Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
