WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
