I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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