Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
