Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
