I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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