someone owes me an orgasm
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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