Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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