if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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