You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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