I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize