I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
