hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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