i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
