Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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