party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
