im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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