Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
