WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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