The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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