I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
birth control should be required to get into college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just gargled with NyQuil
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
