But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
