im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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