people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
