Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
