Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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