careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
