can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
