Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
