meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
