She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
