It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
