I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
