Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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