it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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