Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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