Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
If I had your ass I would rule the world
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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